Artistic Vision
It’s a right-brain kinda thing.Archive for Faith
Dealing with negative effects of a tough teaching job
I was speaking with a colleague today and commenting about how disappointed I had become with myself regarding my attitude with the kids at my school. And, I’m not necessarily just talking about the kids in my class. For those who don’t know, I teach high school art in an urban district. My kids either a) don’t care about my class or b) tell me I’ve ruined art class for them. The first group is comprised of the majority of my kids which is ever a disappointment for me because I long for some art majors. But, I realize that they may come in later years. The second group basically just emerged. Actually, a few students just verbalized it at the beginning of this week.
Regardless which group, though, the reality is all of my kids have wildly misplaced perspectives on art education. As I’ve stated in another post, they expect my class to be fun, a time for them to make a little craft and socialize with their friends. Anything difficult or challenging isn’t well received. Read the rest of this entry »
Feeling down
Ever since returning from Christmas break, I have found it increasingly difficult to motivate myself. Writing lesson plans, contemplating future assignments and grading papers have pushed me to a place I haven’t been for quite some time. It has become so oppressive at times that I have been struggling more recently with boredom while playing with my kids. I have to admit to feeling shame at this self-disclosure.
I know my spiritual responsibility before the Lord and I have been praying in earnest for the resolution of my depressive thoughts and feelings. I have gotten out a few of my books on cassette. Most notably, N is for Noose and C is for Corpse by Sue Grafton. They have always both entertained me and cheered me for their familiarity. My habit of re-reading (or, in this case, re-listening) to audio books, I have high hopes such “magic” will deliver me from my oppressive mood.
Somewhere Over …
I have these thoughts at times.
I look at my kids–sometimes it’s just one, other times it’s both–and I feel the most profound sense of sorrow. They’re beautiful and I love them to death. But, I tell you, this aching loss wells up within me and I don’t know where it comes from.
And, I don’t know what to do with it.
Difficult Choices
God is truly amazing in how He orchestrates events. Although my wife and I had covenanted at the beginning of our marriage that when we had children she would stay at home (or I would if circumstances necessitated that). However, with being on unemployment for six months and then changing careers (and taking a $28k pay cut), we had come to realize that we needed to do something to help us pay off some debt and start saving again.
Compared to others we spoke to our debt was not bad at all. Nonetheless, we believed it wise and proactive to try to do something about it now instead of later when other things could make the situation more dire. In the end, though, we struggled with what steps to take.
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